Friday February 12, 2021
First, here's what I want you to know: Imposter syndrome plagues coaches at all levels but it’s 100% fixable.
Have you ever said to yourself
- ‘I don't feel good enough.’,
- ‘Why would someone pick me’ or
- ‘I don't have enough experience.’?
If you find yourself thinking these thoughts or feeling generally like an imposter here are 5 steps to get you out of imposter syndrome and into your awesomeness!!!
Step 1 - Make Peace With Where You Are
The faster you may peace with where you are, the faster you're going to be able to move ahead. When you don't have peace with where you are, you create more resistance. Which just makes everything harder. Remember, you are meant to be where you are.
Often times we aren't at peace with where we are because we want to be further ahead, but we're not.
Here's the thing though: being mad at yourself or 'shoulding' all over yourself for not being where you want to be only keeps you stuck longer because of the resistance.
So, give yourself permission to love where you are, see the progress you've made, and be excited about what's to come.
Step 2: Serve Those Who Need What You Have
Remember you are here to serve the people that are coming along behind you, not the people that have surpased where you are.
Often times coaches worry about why would someone hire them because there are always more experienced coaches out there.
You're here to help people who don't have the knowledge you have. That means you can help them. It doesn't mean all the knowledge of someone 10 years ahead of you. It means they need what you've got.
Now, let's refer back to number one. You are where you are. You must accept it and get excited about it because wherever you are, there's someone who wants to be where you are!
What happens if a client comes to you with something you can’t help them with?
You're going to do one of two things.
1. You're either going to say to them, ‘Hey, I don't know how to help you with this, but I'm going to go figure it out now and get back to you.’
And they're going to say, ‘Oh, that's really cool of you. Thanks for doing that.’
2. You're going to say, ‘That's not my wheelhouse and not something I can do for you, but I'm going to refer you to someone who can do that thing for you.’
Either answer ensures that you're able to help that person and both answers are perfectly acceptable. We are all human and none of know everything, no matter how long we've been around.
So, let yourself off the hook of needing to be perfect or know everything.
There will come a time when you can't help a client with something and it's perfectly okay. Just use one of the two answers above and you're good to go!
This has happened to me and every time it's happened, people are thankful.
Step 3: We Need More Teachers
We need more teachers and you are one of them. Someone needs to hear your voice. Not somebody else's, YOURS.
Most the books I read are on self-help or business. You'd think that eventually I would just stop reading the same types of books, right?
Well, no, I don't. Because I want to continually deepen my knowledge and learn from different people. We all need to learn from different perspectives and people.
You're going to be one of those people that your clients learn from! People need to hear from you, in your voice, with your life experiences and training.
You don't need to be a famous coach in order for you to have relevant experience or to have people relate to you. In fact, sometimes when you're not the most famous coach its better, because people can relate to you more.
Here's the fun part about about embracing the fact that we need YOUR voice: Because people need to hear from you and your voice, you can never feel like an imposter because you are the only you out there.
How cool is that?
Step 4: People Aren't Thinking Of You Near As Much As You Think They Are!
Often time coaches worry about being judged and what others will think but guess what? People are thinking much more of themselves, than they care about judging you.
Second to that... I know it's human nature to want to have people to like us and to care what they think. But remember this: if someone's going to judge you without getting to know you or hear your side of things, then they aren't someone you want to give your energy to anyways, right?
You don't have time for that. You've got a business to build.
Step 5: Practice receiving your awesomeness daily.
One of the reasons why we can feel like an impostor is because we're not giving ourselves enough credit for how far we've come.
We don't feel like we've earned it, or we don't feel like we're good enough. If you don't feel like you're good enough, it means you're not good at giving yourself enough credit.
Give yourself some more pats on the back. Focus on positive self-talk. Have a conversation with yourself like this:
‘You know self, you're doing a really great job and I'm very impressed by the progress that you've made. You really helped that person today on that call and your Facebook post is doing really well and giving people encouragement.’
Your self-talk matters greatly. You must become your best cheerleader because even if others are cheering you on, it's not going to do the same job on your confidene as you really cheering yourself on.
We're all coaches here, but you still have to do it for yourself because the only way it's really going to sink in.
You have to be okay with some people not liking you or you're not being a fit for everybody.
I think finding the right coaching clients is it a lot like dating. Have you ever dated someone who was a totally awesome person and you almost wish you liked them more, but you just don't because there's just no spark?
It has nothing to do with the fact that that person isn't awesome, it means they're just not a good partner for you. In the coaching world, there are people who we could each potentially help, but we aren't a match for everyone, and that's okay.
In fact, that's how it's suppose to be. We aren't suppose to be for everyone.
If you let imposter syndrome stop you from putting yourself out there, then you are robbing people of working with you because you're the person they have sparks with. *ahhhhh* ;)
Let's recap quickly: If you are here to help people, then you are here to help people because you have things to help them with. If you're too busy worrying about what other people think of you, then you're not going to get to the business of actually helping people.
Therefore, here's what I'd LOVE for you to do next:
Go write a list of why you're an awesome coach and how great you are. Look at it daily, read it out loud, say it in the mirror until it becomes your norm.
I'm excited for you to get out Imposter Syndrome once and for all and go be the awesome force for good you were put here to be!
P.S. Want free coaching from me every month? Join Coaching For Coaches where we get together every third Tuesday of the month on Zoom to answer your questions and help you get your business to full time!