Friday December 11, 2015
On a recent webinar that I hosted, I challenged my participants to radically shift the way they view their coaching business. Today, I want to offer up this challenge to you.
It’s pretty big and most coaches DO NOT do this. They think they do. But they really don’t.
The difference between doing this and not doing it is the difference between having an okay business and an extraordinary one. It’s the difference between feeling fulfilled in your business and feeling drained.
This concept came to me a long time ago when I started using dating as an analogy to explain business situations to clients. I realized years ago that dating and business are pretty much the same thing. ;)
The radical shift that I am thinking about is the same radical shift necessary for you to take if you want to create an extraordinary relationship, you must go to give love, not get it.
This means that you are deciding to be in a relationship with your business. It will become the love affair of your life and for that to happen, it truly must be your dominate intent to give. If it is any other way, you become needy and give away your power.
I have discovered in working with coaches from around the world that many of them do this. They give their power away to their business's because they begin to view it as a place to get.
Let me explain because most coaches did not begin their business's that way.
Just like when you start a relationship and you truly are giving. Both partners are high on a cloud in the la-la land that is the beginning of a romantic relationship. However, if both partners aren’t careful there can come a time where things start to break down. Suddenly, you aren’t so happy with this other person. Suddenly you notice how he doesn’t pick up after himself or that the toilet seat gets left up too much. For whatever reason, things have broken down and now you think, “I wish he would just look at me like he used to.” or “He never makes my morning coffee anymore.”
Now you have moved into the space where you are in the relationship to get. And from this space, no one wins because both people are looking for happiness from the other. But happiness doesn’t come another person, it comes from you.
Let’s bring this back to your business:
The relationship breakdown usually happens at about the time the coach gets tired of ‘trying’ to make their business work and they feel that it hasn’t satisfied their needs. They aren’t making the money they thought they would, their list isn’t near where it should be and don’t even talk about how many potential clients have said the worst words every coach dreads, “I can’t afford it.”
Ah yes… this is the classic case of “relationship breakdown” in business.
Now that your needs aren’t being met due to expectations not being met, what do you do?
THIS IS WHERE YOU NEED THE RADICAL SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE TO CHANGE EVERYTHING!
This is the point where most coaches go down what I call, The Rabbit Hole of Crap. That rabbit hole where they slow down, waste time and let the little white lies their ego is feeding them stop them from their greatness.
Not. This. Time.
You MUST gain control of this time. And the only way to do it is realize that you have become needy in your business. You are now trying to "get" another client, more money or a feeling of significance from helping others and/or being seen.
You must decide to reignite the spark in your relationship with your business. You must decide to be the partner who will go to give again. Because it is only when you go to give, that you will receive what it is you are really looking for.
When you shift your thinking from…
“This is never going to work.”
“I ONLY sold this many memberships.”
“I lost another subscriber.”
“There’s so many people doing this already… what’s the point?”
“Nothing ever works out the way that I want it.”
“If I could just make enough to pay Visa this month.”
“This IS going to work!”
“Major success is built one day at a time, over time, not overnight!”
“I have 2 customers!! Woo Hoo!!! I’m going to BLOW their minds with value!”
“No one can deliver this content the way that I can because no one has my experience and expertise.”
“I am here for a reason and I am going to be of service, even when things get rough.”
“Things are working out for me. The universe is always conspiring for my good.”
This is when you are going back to being the giver. You must learn to catch yourself when you are about to cross this fine line because it is SO easy to get caught down the rabbit hole of crap.
High achievers and performers spend about 5% of their time on the problem and then shift 95% of their time and talk into the solution.
They KNOW that worrying about something is useless as is wishing things were different. Instead, high achievers and successful coaches, take the information and make better decisions because they are now smarter than yesterday.
That’s how you can shift from being in your business “to get”, to going to your business to give. Because in the beginning (I bet you can remember it), you were SO excited to write your blogs, do your webinars, network, help people, etc. But somewhere along the line, disappointment and fatigue set in. Then it took over your brain and it became easier to slip into the ‘get’ mode.
“I’ve given so much of myself… where’s my stuff?”
If this has happened to you, now you know what to do. It may also mean you have to change your approach in your business, try something really different, hire a coach or maybe even shift your focus completely.
But before you do anything radical, try first going back to being the giver. Decide to fall in love with your business again. Just like the day you first met. Decide to have a love affair like no one has even seen.
Then, get busy building this important relationship.
Next week, I’m going to talk about HOW to build this important relationship. CLICK HERE to go to that blog post.
Live Your Awesomeness,
P.S. Have you found yourself in this place with your business? What did you do? Did you reignite the fire?